This has to be the shortest walk on the Subcrawl. Out the station, cross the road and you're at the Stadium Bar. All of fifteen metres! But don't let this make you complacent on the road safety front - watch out for speeding cars.

Stadium Bar (111-119 Copland Road, G51 2JE. Tel. 0141 445 3645)

Perhaps surprisingly, given its proximity to Ibrox Stadium, this establishment does not really go in for the Rangers gig that much (not in the same way as The Grapes or Doctors). However, contrary to the advice once given on "The People of New York Versus Jerry Sadowitz" show, it would still be highly inadvisable to be wearing green and white hoops when walking to this establishment. Most of the time in this bar will be spent discussing what/where food will/can be eaten/got. Scooby Snacks (temporary relief for AIMS - see Cessnock) may be consumed at this point.

The Albion Way (179 Broomloan Road, G51 2JE. Tel 0141 440 1570) is discussed below under "Scariest Pub on Earth?".

Did You Know . . . This stop has also been known as Copland Road?

The Stadium Bar used to be home to an annoying little man who would accost Subbers with dire magic tricks. This local loon was usually too pished to do them right and was frequently asked to take his custom elsewhere (that's cultured for 'piss off'). The last time this writer saw him was now some years ago. It was an eight person Sub and one of the troupe was a woman from Papua New Guinea (what a cosmopolitan lark this thing called Subcrawl is), whom annoying little man proceeded to inadvertently insult (I say inadvertently because the guy was too pished to know what day it was let alone make an intentional insult). Before any of the subbers could get noised up about this two locals intervened and led the annoying little man away apologising to the woman as they did so. Annoying little man has never been seen since and one can only hope that he has either died a lonely death or is institutionalised. Uncannily though, since his demise, a similar manifestation has begun appearing near St Georges Cross, in the shape of the Scary Woman.

"Scariest Pub on Earth?" We once had the dubious fortune to embark on a Sub on a Rangers home match day. The match was already underway as we reached Ibrox, and the surrounding area was almost deserted. Discovering that the Stadium Bar was shut*, we asked a couple of nearby mounted police where the next nearest pub was. A scene from a cheap Hammer horror was then played out as they exchanged furtive glances before telling us "There is . . . a pub about five minutes down the road . . . but we strongly recommend that YOU DON'T GO THERE!" Undeterred, the five of us (who by now had changed our names to Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Fred and Thelma) sauntered down past the stadium until we came to what can only be described as a large, very dirty concrete cube with a heavy door in one wall. Sign was there none, but we noticed that on one wall the letters "Albion Way" had been 'stencilled' onto the wall by years of dirt around where some lettering must originally have been. Upon entering we encountered what one of our number later described as "the Scariest Pub on Earth". I'll swear to this day that the piped music stopped playing as we walked through the door. A dimly-lit, stark interior with bare floors and walls was scarred along one end by a bar. Sullen drinkers stared at us unwelcomingly, and let out the leashes on their Rottweillers slightly, before returning their gazes to the big TV screen which was currently showing the half-time football scores. We ordered halfs (that's whiskys to the non-Scots), downed them in one, and left immediately.

(*Our correspondent Jim has informed us that The Stadium Bar now opens on match days)

However, it must be said that in comparison with J D Binghams (see West Street), surviving the Albion Way is a cakewalk. Indeed the Albion's manager has been in touch to say that the pub isn't as intimidating as it might at first appear, and that the lounge bar has recently been refurbished and is actually rather nice. We'll have to check it out . . .