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www.subcrawl.co.uk
Norman's Stag Do - A Sub Diary?
On a recent Subcrawl, one of our leading correspondents ("Jabba") armed himself with a notebook pc and set out to record a weblog of the day's events. The intention was to provide a real-time report of the sights, sounds and smells of this most indefinable of experiences.
What he provided instead was the following.
original image courtesy of Rebus
Dear
Sub, here we are half way through Martin's sub and we are having a fine
time. I am typing this first bit in Ibrox Stadium Bar which is the sixth*
stop. Attendees are:
The most exciting thing so far has been the discovery of a new pub. It is Binghams Bar which is at West street- normally we go to Gairdnairs Arms but this time we got bored with the half mile walk and decided to give ourselves a special treat. So we walked or a quarter of a mile and ended up in a scary shithole instead. Really. Admittedly it was under refurbishment but even fully painted I think you would have to be suffering from a serious amount of brain damage (with tattoos) before you enjoyed being in such a pub. Our favourite touch was the collection of pool cues (ready for a fight) but the pub had no pool table. The music was also good- Country and Western Classics reworded to descibe the "struggles" from a particularly UVF point of view. My, how I felt like taking up my rifle and fucking the Pope by the time we got to the chorus. The Grapes at Kinning Park looks like a Roman Catholic retreat in comparison. |
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(later) A few stops further on*** we note that the toilets in the Brechins Bar(Govan) have enough artex on the rof to make them qualify as a set in the Doctor Who Ice Warriors remake (or be in the Honours Three). |
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(much later)**** Also the lounge pof the Haybourn Vaults no longer hass the decency to make out like a gay 1980s disco. No it hasd transformed into a vey 1990s pool hall. We go to the bar and are equally disappointed. See you, got beer to drinkand ca't type all day***** Jabba |
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Notes *. Sadly, the effects of alcohol were already beginning to tell at this early stage: having begun at St Enoch, this was in fact the seventh stop. **. Please note that the nicknames used above are fictitious. Only the names are real. ***. Only one, in fact. Do they still teach maths at school? ****. The spelling, grammar and punctuation, which until now were fairly deplorable, take a considerable downturn for reasons which aren't hard to guess. We tried to run this bit through a spell-checker, but the pc crashed. *****. You're telling us, pal. |