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Frequently Asked Questions
Some of the finest minds in SUB-dom have combined to produce the following list. If however you have a query which isn't included below, why not go to our Comments page and drop us a line?
| Q. When did the Subcrawl originate? |
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A. Not sure exactly, but it seems to be a pastime of some vintage. The Glasgow Underground railway first opened in 1896, so the pleasures of the Sub could even have been known to the Victorians. "Subcrawl" was certainly a term in common Glaswegian parlance by 1985 when it was defined by Michael Munro in the book "The Patter: a guide to current Glasgow usage" (Glasgow District Libraries 1985) as "A Glasgow variation on the Pub Crawl". A more celebrated literary reference can be found in Chapter 9 of Iain Bank's excellent novel "Espedair Street", where one character provides an explanation of "the clockwork orange pub crawl". |
| Q. What are the rules of the Subcrawl? |
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A. The Glasgow Underground consists of fifteen stops on a circular line. The aim of the Subcrawl is to alight (that's 'get off' to you) at each stop and have a drink in a nearby pub. Although some "purists"(a.k.a jaikies) would say that the drink consumed at each pub must be alcoholic, and that the consumption of such half measures as shandies or half-pints constitutes an abomination against all that is Sub, the main thing is to enjoy yourself and to ensure you don't go beyond your limits. |
| Q. That all sounds pretty complicated. Could you make the explanation simpler by, say, presenting it in the form of an animated diagram? |
| A. Funny you should ask . . . Just click here. |
| Q. It sounds like you'd need to buy a lot of train tickets. Isn't it expensive and time-consuming? |
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A. Fortunately, no. For at any station you can purchase the marvellous Discovery Ticket, which allows you unlimited travel for 1 day (subcrawls don't normally take any longer than this). It used to be slightly "faffy" to begin with as you needed to exchange the first ticket you received from the Travel Centre for another ticket in the underground itself prior to beginning your first journey, but SPT have finally seen sense and you can now buy the ticket directly from the stop. After this you have no need to buy or collect any more tickets for the rest of your journey (unless you're a big banana and manage to lose yours). As you can see from the pic below, the Discovery ticket used to cost a reasonable £2.50; however it has subsequently been reduced to a cirrhosis-inviting £1.70. Click here to visit Strathclyde Passenger Transport (SPT)'s own site and check out the latest details for yourself.
Above: the legendary Discovery ticket circa 2000 A.D. The Discovery Ticket used to be known as the "Heritage Trail" ticket, and came complete with a fold-out tourist map containing suggestions for "interesting" walks at each of the stops (anyone know of an interesting walk at West Street?). Why they decided to put an end to this practice is anyone's guess, but may have had something to do with the fact that those going on the "Heritage Trail" tended to be large groups of natives who looked like they enjoyed a "wee drink", rather than tourists. Above: the Heritage Trail map (front), circa 1989. Rumours have it that this particular copy shows the whereabouts of a massive carry-out lost somewhere in the Govan area. Despite numerous attempts at salvage however, the treasure trove has never been found... |
| Q. Where's the best starting point for the "Super Sub"? |
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A. Now then . . . an issue sure to raise disputes everywhere, as the devotees of the various starting and finishing points would agree, if only they would stop long enough to put down their broken bottles and chair legs. One obvious way of deciding, if you're lucky(?) enough to live near one of the stops, is to begin and end at your doorstep. However, we guess that most people embarking on a subcrawl won't have an obvious "home base". In this case, the best idea would seem to be to meet somewhere central and easily accessible. This would seem to leave two prime candidates, Buchanan Street and St Enoch . Our tendency is to go for St Enoch but this might just be force of habit. Another factor to take into consideration is the time of day you'll be visiting each pub (see below). |
| Q. What's the best order in which to visit the pubs? |
| Assuming that we're doing a nice straightforward "once around the track" subcrawl with no going backwards and no missing stops out, we're left with two options; travelling on the Inner Circle or on the Outer Circle. These involve travelling, respectively, anti-clockwise or clockwise round the "Big Ring" (see below). Thus, if we start at St Enoch, the Inner Circle would next take you to Buchanan Street, then Cowcaddens and so on, with the final stop being Bridge Street. Taking the Outer Circle, Bridge Street becomes the first stop after St Enoch, then West Street, and so on. Now then, how to say this . . . |
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The Glasgow Underground - map as used by SPT until 2001. (We acknowledge the copyright of SPT to this diagram here and elsewhere on the site and are currently working on producing our own version) There are basically two types of pub on the Sub. There are ones in popular city-centre areas which are clean and new and tend to attract student-types and whatnot. Then there are the outlying areas, with more typically "Glaswegian" pubs, usually only visited by locals and regulars. Broadly speaking (and there are one or two exceptions), the pubs north of the River Clyde (i.e. between St Enoch and Partick), tend to fall into the former category, and those south of the river (Bridge Street to Govan) into the latter. In our experience, it may be better for large groups of strangers to Glasgow to visit the "Glaswegian" areas early while the pubs are quieter and the participants more sober, and leave the potentially less problematic "city-centre" stops to deal with a more pissed-up bunch. Therefore, starting at St Enoch, we would recommend using the Outer Circle, leaving Buchanan Street as the venue which has to deal with the aftermath of Sub. (N.B. This is the route that the Stops pages assume you have chosen). However, whatever way you decide to go, be careful you keep travelling in the same direction, otherwise it could be a very long day. . . |
| Q. When's the best time to go a-subbing? |
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A. That's really two questions: "What's the best time of day?" and "what are the best days?". The answer to the first of these is "You can't start too early". Well, obviously you can start too early, i.e. before the pubs open. This tends to be about 11.00 am (check individual pubs for exact times). An early start is good as even the quickest Subcrawl is going to take quite a bit of time; our current record is around the seven and a half hour mark, and that was for a group of four aiming for maximum speed. If you're in a larger group, and plan to include a stop for food (strongly recommended), then you're looking at nine and a half hours or more - and remember, the underground doesn't stay open forever (last train usually just after 11.00pm - click here for SPT details of exact times). As for the best days on which to crawl . . . Well, we've never done a Subcrawl during a normal working day, but I imagine the trains would be pretty busy round about the 5.00-6.00pm mark, which might be a good time to incorporate a meal break. Weekends and public holidays are more common times - the main two occasions to avoid here are Sundays (pretty easy to know in advance) and days when Rangers Football Club have a home match (this requires a bit more research). In the case of Sundays, the late opening of the pubs and early closing of the Underground (before 6.00pm) make it almost impossible to fit in 15 stops (tell us if you know otherwise). The suggestion that Rangers home matchdays be avoided is not a comment on that particular organisation or its supporters - it's just that, as Ibrox Stadium (Rangers' home ground) is directly opposite Ibrox station, the "Big Ring" tends to be mobbed with football supporters (dubbed the "Subway Loyal"), some of whom might be large, boisterous and even more drunk than you. Similarly the pubs, particularly in Kinning Park, are also full of fans. While avid Bluenoses might enjoy this, most others might find the atmosphere a bit Kestrel-and-testosterone filled for their tastes, as well as adding a lot of precious time to the duration of the Sub. It should be noted however, that days when Celtic, the other big Glasgow team, are playing at home are not really a problem as their ground is not near any Sub stops and so does not tend to be used by many supporters. Click here to see a typical Sub timetable. |
| Q. What is "Closing the Circle"? |
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A. Yet another source of heated debate among aficionados of the Subcrawl. Basically, the argument is this - we all know that the Sub involves fifteen stops and fifteen pubs, but how many train journeys? For example, for a "Super-Sub" starting at St. Enoch and taking the Outer Circle, stop and pub number 15 would be at Buchanan Street. Having already visited Times Square (or wherever) at St. Enoch, there would be no need to return there. So that would mean fourteen journeys would suffice . Or would it? Some would argue that the Subcrawl isn't complete until you return to your starting point by making the fifteenth journey, thus completing your travels round the entirety of the Outer (or Inner) Circle, hence "Closing the Circle". |
| Q. So, which side does SUB take on this controversial issue? |
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A. Our philosophy is this: Pubs versus Underground - which is the means and which is the end? Do you put up with all the nasty pubs and drink their horrible beer just so you can go ride on the subway? If so, then Closing the Circle would seem to make some kind of sense. Otherwise - forget it! The time you save could be usefully employed tracking down a curry house, puking into a litter bin or even having another beer. |
| Q. What does it feel like to finish a Subcrawl? |
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A. Euphoric - a real sense of achievement and the cementing of a closely-bonded kinship with your fellow travellers which will last the rest of your life. OR: Dizziness and a cold sweat, followed by feelings of intense nausea; vomiting. It could go either way. Dance on that knife-edge, baby! |
| Q. Finally - any Dos and Don'ts for all the kiddies? |
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A. Glasgow culture is a unique mix of the strict downer on pleasure that is Presbyterianism and the heavy guilt trip of Catholicism - so there aren't any "dos", just lots and lots of "don'ts"! While space precludes an exhaustive listing, the Don'ts would include: Don't feel obliged to nip into the Boots at the St Enoch Centre before you start to stock up on Sudafed "for that chemical high". Don't sarcastically say "Is this our stop?" every time the train you're on pulls into a station. You know it is. Don't go playing on the swing park near Kinning Park station like a bunch of big weans. Don't run up the down escalator at Kelvinbridge station. Don't refer to said escalator as the "Escalator of Doom" as if you're some kind of cross between Indiana Jones and Rab C. Nesbit. Don't place coins on the track at any of the stations - a flattened head is not a price worth paying for a flattened 2p piece. Double Don't attempt to do the same with a rubber chicken. Just don't, eh? Don't decide to have a "lorry-climbing race" after the end of the SUB (NB: If you do insist on following this course of action, make sure you're the one who notices the ladder lying against the lorry's side). Finally, if you're travelling to Glasgow from "down south": Don't have so much fun on the Sub that you forget to go home the next day like you promised your wife/ girlfriend/ boyfriend/ goldfish. |